Hannah's breakdown always hit very close to home for me for a variety of reasons 🙁
This re-read really has changed my perspective on Hanna. I think that the first time around, my first impressions of her coloured my views, so I kept thinking of her as a childish, manically carefree druggie airhead who crumbled into a bitter mess the first time something bad happened to her throughout the whole run.
Now I realize that she's coldly intelligent, the manic pixie whatever-goes attitude not exactly a front but rather an ideal or a memory of her truly carefree years that she desperately tried to carry into adulthood regardless of the cost–which normally included tightly controlling and influencing the lives of her friends. I now can see that her fun little kingdom of joy started cracking down not from the break-up with Marek, but much earlier, with Mar's clumsily growing independence, which probably sent the doom clock that she had been trying so hard to ignore or stop a-ticking.
So this breakdown is not really the sadness and despair of a happy-go-lucky person when first facing pain or hardship but rather, the frustration and impotent anger of a mastermind whose designs were foiled. No wonder that the first thing she did was lashing out at one of her previously though-of "minions".
Good thoughts. I'm sure a lot of the OG OP readers are reconsidering the characters during this rerun. Who can we relate to now, with a few more years under our belts? 🙂
boy, if i were hanna, i could sure go for a big-ass blunt right about now *giddy anticipation*
I love Hannah's meltdown here. It hits home for me too. It happens to me–no, 'I do this'–still sometimes if I've gotten to the absolute edge of my endurance without realizing it. It catches me off-guard. Usually it's the prelude to an anxiety attack.
Weed and muffins were just ashes in her mouth.
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