#633 – this is the beginning

I think Sean maybe misses out on sympathy because Marigold is more of the main cast, and Sean is more visibly an asshole. But I really did feel for Sean when I wrote this, particularly with this idea that he "blew it". It's an acknowledgment that he really never was right for her, but he'd hoped by following the right script he could bypass that. In my lowest moments of longing I've tried to do exactly that, intellectualize every aspect of relationships, things that can only be felt, that you can only hope to fake for a very short period of time. Sean knew all this. Even in his own unhappy state - as this shameful thing Mar kept around to avoid her own pain - he was looking for the right combination of words and gestures to freeze time. For him, there was nothing more frightening than that "new beginning": confronting that there was never any love between them.

7 thoughts on “#633 – this is the beginning

  1. …girl, this commentary.

    real talk, though.

  2. fuck it. for sean: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JoOPsmZD4bg.

    thanks, mer. we've all been here.

  3. I find it amusing that many comments on the original posting of this scene assumed Sean and Eve were totally going to have sex 😛

    For all his repulsiveness I can't hate Sean, because I've totally been there. It's tough to admit you have empathy for the person putting a woman in that kind of position because of how unfair the dynamics are. But… I get it. I get you dude. I understand. Now… Please, please change.

  4. if sean worked out would he be a daddy

  5. I like the pause in panel three as he realizes that by "I blew it" he really means "It was never there for me to blow" – there's nothing he could've done, or done differently, that would've made it work between them.

    I feel like there's some relevance here to Eve's own relationship with Park. It's not the same, but there's definitely an element of each wanting the other to be something they're not (and at least in Eve's case, repeatedly talking herself into believing that Park is something he's not).

  6. Re reads strip, reads commentary, drinks wine, cries. Just another day in the life of OP fans. I think you did a great job capturing that fear and insecurity masked by machismo bullshit that men carry around very well. Love the expression in panel 3 and 4. Thank you Gran!

  7. Commodore Biggles

    Dang. First read through of this chapter I kinda got it on an intellectual level, but now after having gone through a similar situation this page really hits home hard. Panel 4 in particular.

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