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I owe the first line in panel 2 to R. Stevens, who often helps me solidify a joke. He's a little more dirty-minded than he lets on. (No, a little more.)
For those asking, the Valentines measure 4 x 6", and the envelopes are just a fraction bigger to accommodate them. So, yes, they are perfect for mailing to far-away sweethearts. They should be shipping by the end of this week, so order yours already!