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Here we see that Sean is no better at understanding how Mar's feeling than Will is. It's almost as if he doesn't care - he's decided what she needs, because it fits a story in his head. It's a story that causes him great unhappiness too, though he doesn't know it. If she'd just follow along everything would be fine, right? No? Well, she's obviously a fucked up person who needs help, then (and maybe he can help her!). I'm not pretending I haven't been on either side of this. The kindest thing Mar can do for Sean is set boundaries, and here she's so wounded she barely musters the strength to do it.
9 thoughts on “#570 – poor girl has issues”
Koerner
You should be a therapist, Meredith.
Koerner
This was meant as a compliment, by the way. Your comments seem to have a lot of emotional/social insight. I thought I’d clarify since people are downvoting my comment so maybe it came off as sarcasm?
granulac
haha I thought it was a nice thing to say!
Ouch
And here's the other side. If Mar's using Sean for his friendship, he's using that friendship right back to maintain closeness when she tries to communicate her limits. It seems like she's giving him a guilt-free way to get out of the Nice Guy realm and stop putting his emotional energy into her, but he's talking to her like he's forgiving a cheating girlfriend that he can't live without.
Jayess
I just finished a period of time vacillating between being Marigold and Sean. It does not feel kind to set those boundaries, but I'm encouraged today to see this and be reminded it is in fact, the kindest thing I can do.
wibbywobby
I love the optimistic numbers Sean goes with for "stuff happened"…#stretchgoals
Madeleine
I cheered in my head for Mar when she said no. I know it hurts, girl, but you had to do it!
Helio
This page helped me realize that I hadta meet new people.
expirequiem
The last line in this one always makes me feel a little burst of hatred towards Sean. The pitying nature of it and the willful ignorance of his role in Mar pushing him away (“after all these years, for no *good* reason”… is her discomfort not good enough? Is “no” not good enough?) reminds me of the attitude many men take towards women they have feelings for, the dismissal of Mar’s agency and her feelings through reductive language that positions him as some sort of intellectual sage. The usage of “poor girl” specifically is very telling in how Sean views Mar