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Ahh, the worst. The argument has petered out, and you walk in total silence. But maybe the next time you open your mouths, you’ll both want peace, right? Nope — Mar was just sulking while Jane was busy formulating a new case. This new outburst creates more incriminating evidence, to be transcribed and repeated back to the court. In silence, the argument has only managed to get worse. |
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To be fair, Jane's right and this is something that definitely needs to be vocalized if Mar wants support in her own efforts to quit. It's good that Jane is willing to bring this out into the open even when it's an uncomfortable topic during an uncomfortable argument.
"So just to clarify…" is my number one method of restarting an explosive argument.
Every relationship has points that honestly chafe and need compromising, problemsolving. Loving someone doesn't mean you're magically able to enjoy or approve of everything they do, and often it requires meeting halfway.
Honestly, if something bugs you about a partner or a friend and it's something they have some control over it pays to take the chance of at least allowing them to know your feelings. Help them help you, worst case they refuse to or are unable to really adapt. At least you'll have taken the grievous risk that you can trust each other better after having been open about your real feelings.
… and boy don't I know those kinds of conversations can be prickly and sore for all involved parties, we'd all love to have nothing about us that can irritate or disappoint someone we care about. Alas.